Responsibilities...

My biological father died in July of this year. He was 56 years old. He died alone, without a wife, his siblings absent and without his children. He made a choice to live as he did. Drugs, alcohol and who knows what. He lived on the street the last several years before his death. He once told his sister he preferred it that way...no responsibilities. I've been thinking about that for some time. Responsibilities such as phone bills, dental appointments and taxes are bothersome yet there is still a sense of accomplishment when completed. Other responsibilities like children and family are a blessing, a joy...fulfillment. Without responsibilities would there be true joy in my heart? That joy when you look at your family and your chest aches because it's overflowing with unbounded love? The joy of looking at a finished project (responsibility) and knowing you did a good job, you finished what you started? I love my responsibilities.

I have been thinking on this because Doug left a small pension to us kids. I have been thinking on what I should do with the money. I don't want to fritter it away on dinner out, a new pair of shoes, etc. Some will go towards my responsibilities like the phone bill but I think I will purchase myself a new quality digital camera with a good lens with the rest of it. I would like to capture my children's youth with the fuzzed out background of a good lens.